Life goes on, things happen. Some mundane, some shocking, all in the course of life. Easy enough to say, a lot harder to live, especially when those shocking events are so often a part of life for the trans community. It is a reality in my world, that even though life is a generally positive place for me, every time I step through my front door could be my last. That is the reality of living in a community that still has a body count.
Last Thursday, Chrissy Lee Polis was brutalized at a Baltimore McDonalds for nothing more than being herself. I will save the details, by now all know or can readily find them. What I wish to discuss is the effect that has on me, and everyone else in the trans community.
I was out and about tonight, typical Monday. At one point I stopped off for a soda at my Local gas station. I car with two males in it drove up, stopped and they both very dramatically started pointing and laughing. At that moment, my mind still lost in Baltimore, I wanted to see blood. I know better than that, I am better than that, yet there it was. Almost an autonomous reaction to the helplessness of seeing a sister attacked on video, and being too far removed to possibly do anything. Something deep inside wanted to take it out on the first person who crossed me.
Somehow I doubt I am the only person to feel that rage right now. Even a quick glance of Facebook or the Blogs will show calls for vengeance. I cant help but understand that. But I also could not help but check my heart. There is no benefit in vengeance, nothing to be gained by lowering ourselves to the level of the animals who attack us. Self defense is one thing, malicious intent another, and in my own heart it did not sit well. I am better than this, as we all are.
Let us look forward to those areas where we can focus or energies to positive ends. Instead of cries for blood, let us scream for legal protection, for dignity, for unity. We cannot change what has occurred, we can use it to move forward our quest for civil rights. To this mission I will rededicate myself, and my heart is comforted by that.